“It’s almost like I subconsciously don’t want to work anymore, so I’m trying to ruin my career. [I lied and told someone] I’m pregnant!…I did this to the New York Times. My publicist called me and was like, “This is the New York Times. Be serious.” And then I found myself talking about orgies in three seconds.”
A little in love with this song at the moment.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
I went to a seafood disco last week…
…I pulled a mussel.